Tuesday 24 June 2014

The Celler



The prisoner was chucked into a cold damp cellar.The cracked stone walls leaked a brown liquid that fell onto the damp floor. The cracked steel bars moaned in the wind. The window cracked like foot steps. The slimy floor was as cold as ice but felt as hot as fire water leaked from the roof onto the crumbling cold cage.

He could see rats the size of his toes trembling to find nashes of food. The scared prisoners all cramped inside a cellar.The door creaked liked a yelping puppy being attacked. As I gripped the iron bars they were as cold as ice. But in the inside they were as cold as fire blazing.


Torch lamps shone through the hall like dragons fire blazing down the hall was dark and narrow like a maze it also was damp and scary. The bars were locked me in by a steel chain as the wind came through the hall the chain brushed over the bars making a clinging sound. The smoke from the chiefs kitchen polluted the area it made it hard to breath.


I could smell a burning from the wax candles the chief came down and served us burnt pastry that smelt like smoke my window band open like the sound of lions roaring against the enemy. The bell rang to mark bedtime our bed was the floor with straw for a pillow it was damp and freezing cold.

By Freddie




4 comments:

  1. Nice similes Freddie

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  2. Hi Freddie!
    Nice writing about the dungeon. It spooked me out. It sounded a little like mine description. Great writing I enjoyed reading it. What spooked you out the most?

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  3. Hi Freddie really like your writing and really like your story about the celler really like it.

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  4. Hi Freddie
    I liked how you had similes
    I think next time you could make a bit more of it make sense
    What was your Favorited part

    ReplyDelete